A Whole Other Dimension
by cindyhasi
Summary: Wario has reached new horizons and breached walls farting himself into another dimension. Besides trying to get home the man finds himself confused at the differences yet similarities of the dimension to his home. Going back is not as easy as farting his way back for the lazy man and he embarks on an unforgettable adventure. Warning: dirty jokes and language
1. Chapter 1

**Hi there! Quick note about Wario; this is set into brawl in the long super smash story which means stuff has happened affecting Wario. He's still rude and nasty but his hygiene has become slightly better due to a job and his manners too living at the Smash Mansion. He's essentially willing to play fair and is not so cold anymore but still rude and such although he is not as much inclined anymore to double-cross friends though it can still happen. Enjoy!**

Chapter 1

Some bets will get you embarrassed. Some make you look better. Depending on the kind of friends you have, some can land you jail. But only at the Smash Mansion, a bet can get you into a different dimension. Such a bet happened to Wario. The garlic loving man would have an unforgettable adventure. It all started as you might have guessed by now with a bet. Not so unusual for smashers striking bets all the time and Wario took Marth up on the bet being to eat a hundred bucks worth of food at taco bell in one sitting. I'm sure all you have heard of Mexican food stories or perhaps the burning Indian sensations, overall these stories end in pain for the rear end. Wario's ass didn't hurt as much as it enabled flight to a certain degree as he stuffed the food down his throat scaring other patrons and returned to the Smash Mansion with a smug smile directed at Marth. Of course, this is when the food took its toll so when Wario was on the way to his room with the hallway thankfully empty he did something that he was well known for; farting. But not just any fart, a fart so mighty it tore away the pant fabric by his ass and shot him forward like a round short rocket smashing into the wall before him and flying through tumbling to a rolling stop on the other side. And this is where it begins.

Wario looked over his shoulder to raise an eyebrow as the wall that should be affected showed no sign but a few cracks where there should be a Wario shaped hole. The floor had a crater and as any smasher he promptly left the scene so he couldn't be blamed. But the Italian didn't pay it much heed as weird things do happen here on a regular basis. With a shrug he came to his feet and walked forward taking in the surrounding looking exactly like the Smash Mansion except for tiny detail which could be best described as a faint feminine touch. The man wandered about the mansion finding it empty for the first few minutes and mirroring the image of what he remembered it to be like for the most part. The real shock came when reeled back behind a corner and gazed out of hiding to spot someone blonde which looked like Samus but like a guy too. The long hair had been cut short but what really made Wario shiver was the male's build so muscled and buff it made Ike and Little Mac look like wimps. Still shuddering Wario turned away wondering what to do. That did look like a horrific Samus due to knowing the other Samus with a curvy build but maybe it wasn't Samus. And if it was Samus what had happened to the Smashers? With another peek Wario decided to stay hidden and survey the situation to make sense of it. His further venturing revealed Ike or at least someone who resembled Ike a lot even munching barbarically on chicken there conversing with Roy except one thing was very, very wrong. They talked and looked like the males but again like the person presumably an altered Samus both were female sporting curves, boobs and lengthier hair and all. Nothing made sense so the Italian decided to sniff around some more, finding about every smasher gender swapped to his horror. He was almost afraid now to look down at himself but to his relief he still remained male like he had always. This must have to do with the shattering fart; the weird wall condition after crashing through it and now finding every smasher gender swapped except Sheik and Marth which he hadn't spotted yet. He couldn't see the hands anywhere either although they probably didn't look any different. For all he knew the smashers could attack him when spotting him since he had no clue what happened so Wario decided to go look for Marth and Sheik and hopefully find one in normal condition so they could figure out what happened here.

To his relief being remarkably well hidden even though his clumsiness almost cost him at least three times, Wario found Marth alone in a living room flopped over the couch on his back with one leg kicked over the back being on his phone. Never before had seeing the teen filled the Italian with so much joy and relief checking every entry and exit before walking over to him. Marth's nose twitched as Wario approached and turned to the short man as Wario stopped in front of him and immediately explained the situation, "Marth you won't believe how happy I'm to see you, something happened everyone is the wrong gender here. You and I are the only normal ones here and we need to figure out what happened." The hope and relief his heart slowly got crushed and drained from his face as Marth blinked at him like he was insane slightly moving his gloved hand in front of his nose and eyeing the man warily before his eyes suddenly widened with his gaze fixed on Wario's upper and lower body as the man was so round you could hardly see two halves. "What's wrong pretty boy? You gone stupid something?" Wario quickly felt the fist smash into his face knocking him on his butt and his nose bleeding but Marth kept quiet simply eying the man with narrowed eyes. "What the hell brat!?" Wario toned down his voice glaring at the other male finally opening his mouth.

"Are you role playing or something?"

Now Wario blinked confused beyond belief. "What?"

Marth rolled his eyes. "Your boobs aren't there."

"My… boobs?" It finally dawned on him there must be someone like him but a female version. That conclusion now kicked his previous theory out the window. With a female Wario there he can't be at the Smash Mansion he knew anymore. But all those similarities… could he be in another dimension where everyone was gender swapped? Sure looked like it and there was one last way to tell, the answer on a couch in front of him right now. Wario decided to play polite a bit or better said a little less rude to gain answers and possibly gain an ally in the teen although back home they never really hung out at all.

Marth blinked again and fully turned away from his phone pocketing it and turning all attention to Wario shifting in his position on the couch. "Did one of your farts give you amnesia? Your voice is lower too maybe you should go to Doctor Maria."

Doctor Maria… It had to be the hardest task ever for Wario to keep the laughter in but grunting couldn't be stopped further confusing Marth. Of course, with their gender different names could've changed to. Obviously did for Mario. Made him wander what his female version got called… "Nah, I'm fine." Wario wasn't sure what to say next but he could see he was losing Marth's attention and before he thought about it he spilled the truth. "I'm not from here, I'm from another dimension." There, Marth turned to him. "I'm not sure how I got here and need help to get back. You looked exactly like a guy I know from my dimension so I thought you're a guy and you were him." Marth didn't look impressed and Wario gulped having probably just lost an opportunity for an ally.

"Seriously, stop ripping the boy joke it's getting old and I'm tired of it!" Marth definitely looked offended proving Wario's suspicion true. A female Marth, oh boy. Now that would make some smashers back home happy. Marth had shifted her position and Wario's eyes involuntary shifted right away to the chest and his lips moved faster than he thought.

"Your chest is as flat as his, you really look like him." Marth glowered and curled her fist but didn't punch out.

"Pervert. So, I have a small rack okay? Stop looking or I will stab you."

"Are you kidding, there's no rack at all. Flat as a wooden board." Ironically if Marth had a wooden board now she'd smash it over Wario's head but instead the princess decided to bite back with words, "You fat, reeking, little shit won't be getting any help from me now because you stink in every way." Wario face palmed internally. Great, his mouth just ruined an ally and Marth was actually going to help him. Maybe she'd help if she got paid. He did have fifty bucks on him.

"I'll pay you fifty bucks if you help me."

"Go away fatso." Ouch, cold.

"Please, I need your help and I'm sorry I wounded your feeling. Flat chested girls can actually be pretty sexy." That apology was exhausting but Marth glanced over her shoulder. Their heads tilted to footsteps outside the room and Wario started to panic hysterically for no reason seeing no hiding spot in the room at all looking at Marth with fake pleading eyes. Marth closed her eyes and sighed grabbing waving her hand with a short, "Follow." The two exited the room finding solitude outside in the shade of a tree cluster.

"Thanks."

"Don't think we are friends now. I find it plausible that you're not from here and I want you gone that's the only reason I'm helping you. Why are you so worried about being seen anyway?"

"Because I haven't decided yet if it's a good idea to be seen. What's the impostor me named anyway?"

"Warioette and you are the impostor here."

"Warioette looks almost like me?"

"Yes and she smells like you too." Looks like personalities are pretty close.

Wario nodded thought fully. "So if I excuse my voice with a cold and say I'm disguising myself I can pass as Warioette… Where is she right now?"

"On a trip for about a week. Everybody knows that."

"I'll say I came back early in case we get seen and need to lie."

"I'm not going to lie."

"You would lie anytime to get away with things." Wario replied causing Math's eyes to widen and narrowing her eyes at him. "Other dimension has you as male. I figured personalities could be pretty close."

"Doesn't change that I get away with things." Marth smirked. "So, how did you get here?"

"I made a bet eating a hundred bucks worth of taco bell in one sitting."

"…"

"On my way to my room in an empty hallway I farted."

"…"

"And crashed through a wall from said fart."

"…"

"And then I got here. By the way there's a crater in the floor now in one of the hallways."

"… Fart, of course… think you can fart your back if I buy you hundred bucks of taco bell?"

"Worth a shot. Hey I didn't think of trying this at first cuz you know I figured I was still home but how about I try going through the same wall again first?"

"Alright." Marth shrugged and the duo navigated through the mansion with the princess in the lead making sure that the path was clear. After a long walk and Wario tripping on a potted plant, the two arrived at the crater hallway and wall.

"That's the one with the tiny cracks there." Wario confirmed. Marth leaned against the right hand wall watching the short man proceed to the wall only to be thrown back violently coming to a tumbling stop. Scrambling to his feet the Italian sighed. "I don't think it'll be different on the other side…"

"Off to taco bell then. I have to get the car keys from my room."

"Oh great if your room is anything like there, there's bound to be someone that you share the room with…"

"I share a room with Elaine, no one else." Marth replied raising her eyebrow as the two back tracked.

"Well back there, you share with Ike, Roy, Link and I believe Toon Link pops up in between and Pit is thinking about moving in."

"Why doesn't the guy simply complain to one of the hands?"

"Crazy Hand is crazy and Master Hand doesn't really care. Just wondering, are the hands called differently here?"

"Crazy is Crazy but I believe Master Hand must be Mistress Hand from your dimension. "

"Ah that explains the feminine touch on the building."

"So… who would be this Ike, Roy, Link, Toon Link and Pit?"

"Well, I'm not sure. I saw most of the smashers but I didn't catch their names. Ike has indigo hair."

"That would be… Elaine, my roommate."

"Roy has red hair and is obsessed with fire."

"Rita."

"Link is blonde, usually wears green and has elf ears."

"Linkle."

"Toon Link is like Link but a kid and in a freakish cartoonish style."

"Toon Linkle."

"Pit has wings and brown hair."

"Pia."

"This is so weird…" Their walk continued in silence to the room with Marth peeking inside and quickly motioning for Wario to back and hide in a bathroom set between rooms. The obese man obeyed and locked the door putting his ear against the wall as the room was right next to his newfound ally.

Elaine lifted her head from the magazine sitting on her bed with the back propped up against the wall as her roommate slipped inside holding the door suspiciously closed. Elaine resembled Ike although her longer hair was tied back in a pony tail with stands hanging loose and her rack was rather big but not overbearing befitting to her lean muscled build without taking away the feminine charm. "What's up?"

"Nothing much, I'm just heading into town."

"Cool, I wanna come along." Elaine tossed the magazine to the side and got up raising an eyebrow watching her friend stiffen up and fiddle with the keys almost dropping them.

"You can't!"

The female raised her eyebrow at the other slimmer girl.

"Umm… It's boring… I'm just picking up a package for Mistress Hand; it won't take longer than few minutes. She wants it as quickly as possible so we won't be able to hang around. How about later? Rita, Linkle and Pia will want to come along too."

"Fine, later then. We should watch a movie too, I'll pick one."

"Okay, see you later." Female Marth sighed closing the door behind her. That was a close one and she was lucky Elaine wasn't set on coming along right now.

Leaving almost worked so perfectly but of course they had to bump into Mistress Hand herself floating in the air and turning to them. "Oh hello there, sweeties! How is your day coming along?"

Marth cast a 'I talk' look to Wario and smiled at Mistress Hand, "Great, how about yours?"

"Wonderful so far but I can't find my sister anywhere. Oh well, as long as Crazy isn't causing property damage or something…"

"We will keep an eye out and let you know if we see her!" Marth chirped but her gaze trailed Mistress Hand's frozen in place unseen gaze directed at Wario particularly a certain region only able to stutter 'Where' and 'boobs' with long pauses.

"I'm practicing my disguise skills, pretty swell aren't they?" Mistress Hand just sort of nodded in her own handy way but remained frozen. "I might be getting a cold; my voice is a little off lately. That's why I canceled the trip." Wario waited for a reaction and female Marth seemed to be holding her breath relaxing again as Mistress Hand unfroze.

"Oh, I hope you're going to be alright Warioette! Maybe stop by Doctor Maria there. You two have fun, see you later!"

"I will think about it!" Wario replied, the two watching her float off and quickly continuing on their route only to the stopped outside by the front door by female Olimar quite in distress. "The garden is ruined! I don't even know what to do! Everything was perfect just a few hours ago!"

"Olivia, calm down. Just show us, okay?"

"There." Wario's and the princess' eye widened at the sight standing in the garden. Dimensional distortion seemed to have occurred in Olivia's garden and reshaped plants, the pairs of eye particularly staring at the cucumbers reshaped to penises and the lettuce heads sporting butt shapes. "What if they taste different now?"

"Like ass…" Wario breathed quickly adding that his voice was due to a cold and he had cushions stuffed under his clothing to explain voice and manly chest which Olivia believed without questioning shifting her gaze worriedly to the garden.

"Prince Peach wants lettuce for the salads…" Olivia sighed. "Maybe I could taste test one… Wish me luck…"

"Wait, Peach is still called Peach but a dude?" Wario blurted, Olivia luckily too consumed in her worries to have heard that and Marth promptly elbowed him catching him in the ribs painfully.

"Ow! How…?"

"I have skills. Watch your mouth. Peach has an incredibly long first name that no one can say so we refer to him with his last name." Marth whispered.

"Oh gosh, they taste like ass!" Olivia shrieked spitting out the lettuce and trudging away with slumped shoulders to tell Chef Peach the news.

"Great, I cause ass lettuce and penis cucumbers."

"Hey you know… this started with your butt and the lettuce looks like butts… Maybe eat one and try passing through the wall then."

"No way flat chest, she just said they taste like ass! Ow" Wario rubbed his head having received Marth's fist.

"Well, the taco bell might not work either! Unless you fart yourself into space or something all the way home."

"What if I get stuck halfway in space, I'll die. Unless we get a rocket."

"But you didn't come in a rocket."

"I'm not risking dying in space." Wario huffed. "Maybe a potion could be made with the salad asses or something…"

"Why are you two talking about salad asses and space?" Both almost jumped with Elaine suddenly behind them with an arm around Marth's shoulder. "What's wrong with your voice garlic lover?"

"I'm getting sick. I'm also practicing disguise skills."

"To look like a guy?"

"Yes."

"Actually that looks really convincing…"

"I know, that's the point."

"Elaine, how long have you been standing here?" Female Marth asked.

"Hmm, like a few seconds. I heard her say she doesn't want to die in space and something about those salad butts. Oh look, there are cucumber penises too!" Elaine grinned in amusement finding the situation with the garden hilarious. "Still going to town?"

"Yes, I'll be back in a bit." Wario turned but Marth shook her head at him while Elaine laughed about the garden looking at it again. The man swallowed realizing he'd be on his own for a while. He remarked to himself though how well he had fooled people up until now although he should probably avoid them as best as he could. It just got annoying to have to repeat his reasons behind his voice and appearance to everyone. Elaine left leaving Wario alone and the man decided to retreat into the wood figuring it'd be unlikely to bump into anyone. Maybe he could even take a nap wondering why Marth didn't let him follow. 'Oh well, Marth chick must have a reason.'

Rita whistled to herself walking outside coming to a stop at Olivia's garden with her eyes widening then starting to giggle. As her eyes sweeped the plants, Rita thought about it and quite too much wondering if the vegetables tasted like what they presented. Cucumbers can't taste like dick… curiosity kills the cat they say… Rita shrugged deciding to eat a cucumber anyway as she found herself hungry. Turns out curiosity does kill the cat or in this instance Rita's stomach as the girl's face shriveled into a disgusted frown tossing away the rest of the cucumber and spitting out the mangled cucumber in her mouth. That was not cucumber! Deceiving vegetable! Should be burnt now in Rita's opinion. But Rita still didn't know actually because the red haired teen girl actually didn't know what dick tasted like. Stroking her chin a little the deadly curiosity still burned and redirected her though to Snake. Snake is older than her and probably already had relationships possibly containing blow jobs. Yes, Dalia Snake would know.

"Snake, I need to ask you something." Rita poked her head into the kitchen to see Dalia at the table reading the newspaper with her long brown hair tied back and cigarette in her mouth with her feet propped up on the table sporting the same muscled yet lean build as Elaine.

"What?"

"You would happen to know what… dick tastes like, right?" Dalia lowered the newspaper narrowing her eyes on Rita.

"Why are you asking that?"

"Nothing." Rita shrugged slowly moving the hand behind her back. "Are you hungry?"

"That sounds dirty. Assuming you might talk about real food which is unlikely, actually I am a little."

"Want a cucumber?" Rita whipped out the penis cucumber behind her back with a wide grin and Dalia almost fell out of the chair quickly scrambling to her feet and shooting the disfigured cucumber hitting it straight in the balls barely missing Rita.

"The hell Snake!?"

"Don't ever mock me, Pyro."

"I wasn't, I just want to know if they taste like dick! I can't tell."

"You ate one!?"

"…"

"Where did you even get that!? That can't be a real cucumber."

"So is! Come on, I'll show you it's from Olivia's garden!"

Dalia blinked staring at the garden for at least a good long minute. "What the fuck?"

"Told you… So… cucumber?"

"I can't… give me a damn cucumber." Snake took a bite grumpily munching on it but much like Rita, the face shriveled into a painful frown spitting out the contents again and removing every speck with the tongue chucking the rest of the cucumber away. "It tastes like dick but like the worst blow job ever!"

"Oh no, you tried the cucumbers! The lettuce tastes like ass!" Olivia sniffed beside them. "I don't know what to do… salad is on the menu today… I didn't plan ahead for the weird unspeakable shit that is daily here…"

"Can we burn it? Tastes shitty anyway… Hey what do these tomatoes resemble?"

"Rita, I think it's better if we don't know…" Snake replied.

Marth pulled the car onto the Smash grounds a heap of taco bell on the passenger seat. The teen girl had picked the spiciest stuff she could find there too hoping this would fix everything. And she really hoped she wouldn't bump into Elaine right away since she had told her friend she'd be picking up a package for Mistress Hand. Now where is that Wario… To her relief the front of the Mansion proved rather empty and the princess maneuvered the car onto the lawn scanning for Wario. Wario lifted his head scrambling to his feet upon hearing a car and slowly snuck to the edge of the forest seeing female Marth barely visible behind a heap of taco bell. Glancing right, left and ahead again to be certain it was clear, the Italian man crawled out of hiding waving to the royal stopping the car. "Alright, so what from I understand from your story is that you ate at taco bell and farted later. So you will eat in the forest out of sight, I'm going to park the car and then I'll come back. Then we will sneak back into the Mansion where you will face the wall and remain there until you fart while make sure no one see you."

"Sure." Wario helped move the food into the cover of the forest. Wario sat down and started eating while female Marth pulled away with the car parking the vehicle in the giant shared garage returning the keys to her room and walking back into the forest without being seen only to regret the sight of Wario stuffing the food down his throat with burps and other noises.

"Why did I come back to watch this…" Wario shrugged upon her sigh even though it wasn't an actual question and silence prevailed for the rest of the event with Wario finishing with a giant burp startling nearby birds and wiping his mouth with his hand while the princess cleaned up the packing into a trash bag leaving the bag by the garage afterwards.

Their heads poked around the corner scanning the empty hallway and proceeding stopping by the next corner to peek again. "Two more turns you know which way, right?" Female Marth whispered.

"Yep."

"I'll distract Dalia, then you run for it." Wario nodded watching the princess approach a female Snake. "Hey Snake, can you help me move some furniture? I want to rearrange a couch in my room.

"Sure." The two left the room and Wario ran for it, taking the turns and coming to a stop in the hallway featuring the crater facing the wall. The man nervously glanced over the shoulder relived to see no one although he did hope to see his ally. Wario just awkwardly just stood there waiting to fart picking his nose occasionally. His head turned to footsteps finding female Marth turn into the hallway.

"I'm back. Tell me when you have to fart so I can run for my life, okay?"

"No promises princess but I'll try." Awkward silence stretched both jumping in surprise when female Marth's phone ringed.

"Hello?"

"Hey sis, where are you?"

"Now."

"Now, what? I wasn't talking to you Rita."

"Right now."

"Now- oh crap!" The princess took off as the gasses build skidding around the corner for her life as the walls trembled from the mighty fart and the poor princess kept running before the stench could catch her while Wario shot forward akin to a bullet only to be thrown back by the wall again but with much more force slamming into the wall across making a Wario shape. Wafts of the killing fart crawled along the hallways reaching out for victims and female Marth scrambled back even more almost tripping over her own legs the distance and ominous green gas not allowing any sight on Wario slowly peeling off the wall again. The round man fell face forward and scrambled to his feet not minding the smell at all and quickly wandered down the hallway confirming that everything had stayed the same and searched for his only ally finding her crawling away and keeping at least 20 meters between her and the gas, one hand protecting the nose. The princess shook her fist at him seeing his silhouette but Wario ignored the sign to stay away picking his nose leisurely and ambling over to the horrified princess running away as the fart smell clung to Wario to find victims. It was amazing how easily the other smashers dismissed the fart again and didn't even hear female Marth screaming for Wario to stay away nor did the pair bump into anyone making it all the way outside where the desperate princess darted into the forest and climbed a tree figuring hopefully Wario would be too fat to climb a tree. The stench finally seemed to dissipate as Wario looked up the blue haired girl in the tree although smaller weaker plants not being trees wilted away.

"Don't you dare come up this tree!"

"Nah, climbing a tree is too much work."

"…" Their attention got drawn to the girl's phone ringing and she took the call turning out to be from Rita.

"Where are you Martha!? Are you alright!? A giant fart went off!"

"I'm fine, calm down."

"Where are you now?"

"I'm fine."

"I'll find you." Rita hung up and the girl sighed. Great, Rita searched for her now which would lead her close to Wario too. Martha narrowed her eyes, Wario grunting and his face contorted like he held in laughter or a massive shit. The man bursts out laughing rolling in the grass and pounding the ground with tears welling up his eyes.

"What's so funny!?"

Wario barely choked out the reply but managed to explain. "Back home your counterpart is called Marth but everyone makes fun of his girly looks by calling him Martha."

Martha's eyes narrowed dangerously. "It's not that funny stop laughing." Wario didn't listen laughing even harder resulting in Martha leaping from the tree and pummeling him in fists causing a black eye and squeezing the air from his throat, the fart stench gone by now to her luck. Ah, Marth's violent tendencies after having stayed at the Mansion for a prolonged time.

"MARTHAAAA!"

Martha stopped jumping to her feet and Wario gasped for air noting to himself that those skinny arms and delicate hands are fatal when provoked. "That's Rita, go hide." Wario rolled his eyes but listened finding the nearest bush cluster watching Rita bound over to Martha.

"Found you."

"As you can see I'm fine."

"Where did that fart come from though, isn't Warioette on a trip? She's the only one who can fart like that. I didn't know you two hang out and I'm usually around you all day…" Rita wondered aloud.

"As a matter of fact I returned earlier, my voice is deeper because I'm getting sick and I'm practicing my disguise skills; right know I pass off as a male me." Wario blurted coming out of hiding and Rita gaped like a fish out of water while Martha glared daggers at him quickly replacing it with a smile and shrug when Rita turned to her

"That's like… it looks so real…" Rita stuttered.

"Swell, isn't it?"

"Rita can you keep a secret? I really need you to not mention Warioette, okay?" Martha asked.

"Why not?"

"Please, just don't. Just for a while I'm helping her out with something. I'm counting on you." Wario had never seen so much depth in Roy's eyes as he did in Rita's eyes giving her sister a nod and smile.

"I got your back. I don't know what crazy thing you're up to but I'm there for you, always."

"Thanks. Hey you wanna get snacks for a movie later and figure out if we are watching it here or going to the movies in town? Elaine is picking the movie."

"Yeah, see you later then!" Rita left and Martha turned back to Wario with narrowed eyes, tight lips and her hand on her hips.

"I thought you didn't want to be seen."

"A moment ago not anymore but I just changed my mind again. Hey where will I be when you're watching a movie with your friends?"

"Hopefully back where you belong otherwise you're sleeping out in the woods."

"But that means I have to set up a tent and everything! That's too much work!"

"Deal with it."

"You're mean flatty."

"You stink fatty."

"What do we do now? Farting through the wall didn't work."

"Well, there seems to be some kind of shield, some sort of barrier. I'll find Zen and ask him saying I…"

"Found the wall like that when Mistress Hand told you to cover up the cracks but you couldn't finish."

"Because I can't touch it, that's a great idea! Wait here, I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Wait Martha…"

"What?"

"I'm thirsty, you got some beer?" Martha thought to herself for a moment.

"My friends and I have tree house in the woods and Snake usually keeps a few beers there. You can get beer on your own without being seen, right?"

"Of course, girly."

Martha didn't glare but rolled her eyes disappearing out of sight and Wario watched her leave for a while before turning around only to realize a crucial fact he didn't know; where is the tree house in this vast forest?

 **I really like the idea of leaving it off here. This will have more chapters and for anyone who's reading The Hangover a Durarara! Story reading this, do not worry The Hangover is still being continued. A few days ago I had a really hard time and when my brother and I cooked this up and added to it as we talked about I laughed so hard it made me cry and I really needed that so I put down into word right away. I will write on this and hangover at the same time and try publish at least a chapter every month on both. I'm still on my fantasy books and they are rolling steadily to a finish and it's flowing like with these stories so I want to make sure I focus on those too as they are very special to me. Thank you for reading and let me know what you think! Also for those who've read my stories I'm just curious but do you guys and girls think I'd make a good blog writer? A friend of our families mentioned it to my dad and mentioned it to me. It's be about my goats and the cat stealing my chair about every day mostlyXD Later it's be way to get the word out there about my books too.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"It is a barrier for sure but I'm not sure what kind. I'll try to figure it out and let you know if anything comes up. We just tried magic but maybe I did something wrong…" Zen, a slender male Zelda, concluded.

"Thanks, Zen." Martha sighed turning around. If Zen couldn't make a portal or something using magic then she didn't know what to do. And quite frankly having Wario here forever did not look appealing. The girl turned around and left while Zen took another glance at the wall.

Martha was certain now she had missed dinner grumbling to herself as she stumbled through the forest in the setting sun. Wario had not been at the tree house nor did any of the beers miss. Honestly she didn't know why she searched for the nasty man so vigilantly. It'd be much easier to let the acquired bratty streak acquired from living at the Smash Mansion win out and just go back to the building. Alas, her kindness and loyalty triumphed pushing her to ignore her stomach demanding dinner and keep looking only to find out that Wario had wandered into town and stolen pizzas at a restaurant bumping into a frustrated Martha. "Where did you get the pizzas!? Where were you?"

"I didn't find your tree house, got lost and hit town. Want some pizza?"

"Did you steal that?"

"Why would you think that?" Wario gasped.

"Warioette steals from time to time." Martha deadpanned.

"So? Just some pizza. Want some?"

"No, I'm fine. I'll not support your stealing habits. I'll just grab something from the fridge later." Martha replied but her stomach betrayed her with a roar, her head dipping downwards and her shoulders slumping. Could this day get any worse?

"You're a naughty liar. So I stole, it's here now. Don't starve yourself brat, just take food." Wario rolled his eyes sitting down in the grass and opening one of the five boxes letting the smell of a fresh pepperoni pizza waft into the air.

"Excuse me?" Martha growled at being called a brat. Reluctantly the princess sat down in the grass and Wario pushed the box closer to her with one foot and a "I know you're hungry."

"Shut up…" Martha sullenly growled grabbing a slice of pizza and munching down on it.

"So, did guy Zelda find out anything?"

"Zen?"

"I guess."

"No, not really. He couldn't fix it right away but he's looking into it and he'll let me know."

"Well… it's not too terrible here… Looks like you might be stuck with me for a while." Wario sighed biting down into another slice of pizza.

"Zen will find a way back. Fast." Martha huffed.

"Come on, boyish girl. My company ain't so bad." Martha shot a venomous glare. "I will shut up and just eat pizza."

"Tent, blankets, sleeping bag, pillow… That should be everything." Martha checked the pile again just to make sure. "See you tomorrow."

"Wait!" Martha stopped to Wario's relief turning around to the round man. "Aren't you going to help me set up the tent and all?"

"No." With that the princess briskly left leaving the Italian on his own.

"Mama-mia, she's feisty."

"Watcha been doing all day?" Elaine asked stuffing popcorn into her mouth as she watched in movie in the town's cinema along with Linkle mirroring Link save for being a girl and longer hair put braided into pigtails. Pia, aka female Pit, also donned longer hair but had open loosely. Rita kept her longer hair in a ponytail tonight. Elaine's question to Martha quipped their attention turning to the blue haired girl with curious eyes. Martha avoiding them or more or less struck suspicious as the teens always hung out often joined Zen, Sam being Samus, Sheik aka female Sheik (In my longer one I'll have Sheik as sister of Zelda and girl) and occasionally Dalia.

"Erm… after delivering the package to mistress Hand I actually just spent the day in the forest. Just wanted to be alone." That could even be counted as not a lie! The gals gave her a quizzical look and didn't seize the visual inquire for more details unnerving their friend.

"Is it a boyfriend?" Pia suddenly drawled causing Martha's face to heat up.

"No."

"Maybe Martha just wanted to spend time outside. I like taking walks in the forest sometimes, reminds of our times before coming to the Smash Mansion." Linkle said.

"Thank you, Linkle." Martha responded and relieved that it quenched their curiosity for shifting everyone's attention back to the movie.

Wario officially _hated_ camping now. The sleeping bag wasn't as comfy as a bed, a bear had stolen a blanket and owls kept hooting right above him and if that wasn't enough he had awoken to a raccoon hissing at him at being caught rummaging through the tent before running off to top it off. Although these three animals had been very brave to be close to the man or better said 'Warioette' notorious for farting. His stomach grumbled none of the pizza from last night left and he debated if he should wait for Martha or venture out on his own. Martha seemed to be able to navigate the forest fairly well but Wario didn't go outside much therefore having a hard time finding his way and he found waiting boring.

Martha sighed having slept in and pretended to not feel well to keep her friends from dragging her into adventures. For a moment in the morning she'd actually forgotten about Wario seeing the memories as remnants of a weird dream but her conscious quickly reminded her it was very real. How long could she keep that façade up? What would she do tomorrow with brawls scheduled? Would Zen find a solution and how long would be? How long would Wario be here? Marth realized she had to make choices now along with a solid plan. Fumbling hoping to get lucky might not work. The blue orbs wandered to the window; her first priority is to get breakfast and bring some to Wario without being seen as her friends might insist on coming along if she used the excuse of a walk. Her hands wandered to the phone; better leave it here so nobody could ask Dalia to use her technical skills to track her phone. Since no brawls were scheduled and Martha didn't feel like dressing as she did in brawl squeezing into the little bit of armor, the girl simply threw over a black hoodie with a howling wolf pictured on it and blue jeans along with black and purple sneakers. Her fingerless blue gloves slid over her hands, tiara placed on her head. Reminds her of all the sneaking around she used to do when it all began. Good thing, she's good at it. Her eyes strayed to Falchion with belt and sheath beside it. In the first month she used to always carry it around but gradually she left the weapons in her room along with her friends. It's still an occasional habit though none of them would ever lose. The teen tried to fix the dilemma by thinking about what kind of misfortune could slam into them today. What weird circumstances would come. But it only served as reminder that too many weird things happened at Smash Mansion daily making the weird the norm therefore thinking it over brought nothing. The blue haired girl shrugged and snatched the sword and belt deciding to take Falchion along just cuz she wanted to. To her luck Wario had stayed at the tent even though he wandered away a bit although not out of sight. Martha unwrapped some lunchboxes in which she had stuffed breakfast as Wario waddled over. "Finally, I'm starving!"

"Here you go. I'm leaving and I'll be back twice to bring lunch and dinner."

"Hey wait, what are we doing today?"

"We?" Martha raised an eyebrow.

"You are going to leave me in the forest!?"

"Yes?"

"What will I do?"

"Figure something out, just stay away from Rayquaza's lake."

"Can't we sneak into the mansion and play video games or something? I'll be even happy with some beers, couch and TV. Or we do something together."

Martha sighed leaning against a tree with her back crossing her arms over her chest. "I might be able to get you a laptop and an extra battery with some DVD's. But you're going to have to wait till lunch."

"That's such a long time." Wario pouted an idea forming in his mind seeing Martha leaning against the tree. One hand in his pocket, it grasped a zip tie between some other things and his eyes wandered to his jacket. Maybe if he was fast enough he wouldn't be stuck left alone in the forest dying of boredom… Martha opened her mouth for a reply and the man grabbed the jacket ready to pounce.

"Well, deal with it. Be happy I'm even going to go through the trouble of getting those items at lunch." Martha growled with a sigh having closed her eyes. "Hey, what!?" The blue eyes narrowed on a grinning Wario having tied his jacket around the tree and Martha the girl having leaned against a thin but strong one to her luck. Martha's eyes twitched. "You really think your smelly jacket is-"

"Nope!" _Ziiiip!_ Before her hand could reach Falchion and having not expected more restraints, Martha found her arms tightly zip tied without cutting off the blood supply, Wario watching her glare while picking his nose.

"Listen Garlic breath, untie me now and you get lucky if I don't stab you." The princess glowered, Wario shrugging.

"I've decided to still not be seen, why don't we go into town? The Smash Mansion looks almost exactly like the other one so a tour would be boring. And too much walking." Wario pondered. ignoring Martha's warning and eyeing his snot on his finger smearing it onto the next tree to which Martha frowned and wrinkled her nose. "I'll wait until you say yes, though."

"No, you're a nasty asshole." The princess snapped and Wario sat down digging into breakfast with Martha turning away not interested in seeing his eating habits again.

"Is Rayquaza your pet?"

"No." Martha rolled her eyes with a tired sight still looking away and pulling against shirt and zip tie not budging at all.

"In the other dimension the guy you tamed Rayquaza."

"Would you stop saying other me!?"

"Why?"

"Just… two me's. Does that like mean my soul is split? How many more me's are there? Do decisions even matter? What happens if you die now!? Oh crap, if the guy me dies, do I die too!?" Wario blinked slowly realizing he'd driven the poor girl into an existential crisis and had no idea what to do about it. He'd seen people try to talk to those in despair… Others got slapped… Slapping Martha… Wario scrambled to his feet while Martha still wailed talking without a pause and suddenly struck her cheek causing her to freeze up and Wario to swallow barely managing to say, "Get a hold of yourself, girl!" Martha blinked and turned to the fat man distancing himself just in case but Wario found himself surprise met with a soft sweet smile and a calm gaze directed at the grass below her instead of the murderous glare he had envisioned. "Sorry, I freaked out… Thank you, I needed that."

"You're welcome." Wario sat back down picking up a sandwich. "Do I get to hang out with you now at least till lunch now?"

"No. Hey wait that was your snot hand! DISGUSTING, EW!"

Wario sighed rolling his eyes and a few minutes of silence passed before the man talked again. "You shouldn't be worried you know. As far as I'm concerned everyone is just similar, they are still a different person. You probably had the same past as him too but who cares? He's Marth, you're Martha. Similar, but different. And not just with your gender."

"T-Thanks." Martha quickly looked away to hide the faintest blush. Who knew this nasty man could utter such sweet words on rare occasions?

"Sure with your board chest, you exactly look like him unless you're naked but you've got pretty nice legs and hips there so you're already at fifty percent."

As said on _rare occasions_. If it weren't for those dumb restraints she'd already be strangling him.

Wario burped having eaten the last sandwich, the boxes strewn about around him. "What do you want to do? I'm cool with anything but staying here on my own."

"Untie me."

"Only if you promise not to ditch me."

"Can't make a promise but I'll try." Martha sarcastically remarked.

"Rock, paper, scissors. I win we do something at least till lunch. You win, I'll accept defeat."

"Remove the zip tie then."

"Promise first." Wario insisted. Martha glared thinking of what to do. She could break the promise but as much as she lied being at the Smash Mansion, the girl did her best to keep promises even to someone like Wario. She would only have to bear him till lunch then she could grab laptop, battery and DVDs and he'd leave her be.

"Don't bother with rock, paper, scissors. Until lunch then I'm grabbing laptop, battery and DVD's and you leave me be, deal?"

"Deal." Wario undid the zip tie and Martha cut the jacket responding with a "You are an ass." to a gaping Wario.

"Before we do anything I have to wash my face."

"Why?"

"Did you seriously already forget!?"

"I really don't see what you're upset about…"

"You slapped with the hand you picked your nose with!" Martha exclaimed the man only responding a shrug.

"I touch my snot all the time and I'm not dead."

"It's gross! Just… just follow me there is a pond nearby. Anything particular you have in mind until lunch?"

"Well, Smash Mansion tour would be boring. We could go to town in your car."

Martha squatted down to the water dipping her hands inside. "Wash your hands too."

"You know fish probably pooped and peed in there or ducks."

"You're not going into my car without it. Do it."

"Fine then." Wario sighed with grumble washing his hands at the pond. The duo walked back and walked along the edge of the forest where it curved and touched the driveway while Martha fetched the car. The man plopped down in the passenger seat, the girl coming up to the edge and pulling away again heading off into town with Wario. 'Probably looks like back home.'

Indeed the town did resemble the other one except for a few small differences; a little bit of a different touch to the finer details of some buildings, the one fountain in town actually got kept active while after an incident with the smashers back home left the fountain in shambles, two shops that weren't back there sat cozily by the side walk and the people in general seemed more relaxed when Crazy floated by while back home no one really got used to the existence of floating gloves. Especially Crazy's twitchy appearance sent everyone running for the hills back home unlike here although when looking closely you could see that everyone still did keep an eye on the glove ready to bolt when needed. Wario spotted in amusement that even the townsfolk he knew had gender swapped for the most part and some he couldn't tell in case they donned short or long hair anyway regardless of gender. The type of clothing some preferred also made it hard to figure but his attention faded quickly from the people more to the various shops and entertainment avenues. Actually looking closer at it now, the town looked better off than back there less bothered by the weird crap they got sucked into but it could've been newly repaired too so Wario didn't count it. The man didn't feel like moving about much, his eyes drawn to an arcade they passed.

"Martha, how about the arcade?"

"Sure." They girl pulled onto a parking lot of a bigger store sitting close by the entertainment venues.

"There's a parking spot right in from of the arcade." Wario pointed out.

"I don't wanna parallel park."

"I can do it."

"Keep dreaming." Martha replied shaking her head with a smile and pulling out the keys. Wario patted his pocket finding some money in it getting out of the vehicle and Martha locked the car putting the keys in her pocket leading the way. As they entered, Wario wondered if Martha had taken a job like Marth back home. Everyone knew Marth did have job and he did have cash not just stemming from being royalty although no one knew what his job was. Everyone actually knew that he didn't use any currency from his home still partially looking after his homeland although Elice is stuck with all the paperwork now. Wario picked his nose leisurely following the female figuring he could just bum off her when he ran out of money. The duo started out silently, more or less going their open ways playing games although Wario ran out of money fairly quickly finding Martha buying a snack.

"I'm out of money."

"We haven't even been here an hour." Martha sighed. "Here"

Wario couldn't help but blink, this had been much easier than he had thought. "Thanks… Marth would never just hand me over money like that, it's just… like, why?"

"I'm guessing you didn't have much money with you when you came since you didn't plan this. I don't mind taking it back." Martha smiled mischievously at the last silence and Wario quickly stuffed the cash in his pocket.

"Nah, thanks. I'll keep it. Hey those games over there are for two, wanna try them?"

Martha hesitated but then agreed with a yes, the two walking over to a shooter game where you defended against invading aliens. As Wario and Martha played both turned out quite quick with the control mowing down wave after wave with each becoming harder every time and the silence started to fade telling the other when close to missing an alien making a competition out of who would go down first while trying to beat the high score together. The next arcade game pitted Martha and Wario against each other, both turning out to the pros at the game causing neither to win with the high score reached and topped by a new one. Of course this is when things go wrong, their playful exchanges coming to an end when the game suddenly crashed. Martha and Wario turned to each other, the girl chewing her lips glancing around them. Their eyes darted back to the now smoking arcade machine and back to each other.

"We should leave before we are caught at the crime scene." Wario broke the ice.

"Agreed." Martha replied quickly, both getting up and making a beeline for the exit slowing down on the sidewalk again. Martha veered away from the car and Wario jogged after the girl having assumed they'd get in the car. The man said nothing coming to a stop in front of a pet shop with Martha, one of the two shops that didn't sit there back home.

"Really?"

"Yeah, really. They have kittens and bunnies in there, I want to cuddle them."

"That's boring."

"You can wait outside." Martha walked in Wario stood there all alone for few minutes before strolling in shoving his hands in his pockets finding Martha sitting on the floor with a kitten in her arm and a smile as soft as the kitten itself. "Changed your mind?"

"No, it just looked stupid to stand out there in front of the store." Wario replied picking his nose watching Martha cuddle the kittens, one playing with her shirt batting it with its tiny paw with Martha making little cutesy sounds. After ten minutes of just watching, Wario sighed deciding to pet a kitten since he was bored and Martha looked like she was having a lot of fun. His hand reached out for the fluffy being but Martha's hand quickly snatched it off its feet glaring at Wario with a stern scowl. "The cat won't care."

"Wash. Your. Hands."

"Fine" Wario rolled his eyes washing his hands in the bathroom of the pet shop and coming back, sitting down and petting a red little tabby coming to a stop beside him. The kitten purred while trying to climb over his leg and Wario found himself enjoying himself more and more. "Wow… This is great! So fluffy… I didn't know petting animals can be so much fun. It's amazingly relaxing, actually. Even better than videogames! Or maybe not… about even, but better than movie. Nah, even again or wait; couple petting a kitten with watching a movie. And snacks."

Martha giggled shifting her gaze from the kittens to Wario. "Little kitties get rid of the nasty in you, huh? Maybe they'll help you stay clean, too."

"Don't kid yourself." Wario snorted.

"Hey that's my phrase!" Martha retorted, the two playing with the animals a little more before Wario's stomach grumbled.

"Is it lunch time yet?"

"No, but do you wanna go get ice cream? There is a nice spot to sit by the fountain. It's even close to the ice cream; you won't have to walk far." Martha answered, her lips lifting into a smirk at the last comment.

"You know, I can actually be very fast when I want to." Wario replied as the two walked out the doors and turned to head to the ice cream shop but Wario's world turned upside down within seconds when Martha spotted a familiar face and freaked somehow using strength and martial arts in a combo stuffing the man into a trash can next to them. Amazingly he fit but barely and to his luck the trash can only contained paper.

"Hey, Martha!" Sam, aka male Samus, waved to the blue haired girl awkwardly waving back quickly kicking the trash can when Wario shuffled around inside. Wario froze up and listened in.

"Hey Sam."

"What are you up to?" Instead of his suit, Samus wore sneakers, jeans and a shirt with an open leather jacket.

"Nothing, really. Just visited the arcade and pet shop.

"Elaine and co are all wondering where you are." Sam chuckled.

"Oh yeah, we kinda made plans and I got side tracked. Sorry about that." Martha's hand sheepishly rubbed the back of her hand. At least Sam didn't ask anything super specific so she didn't have to lie.

"I was at the gym. Want to hang out in town till lunch?"

"Eh…umm…"

"Everything alright?"

"Yeah, actually Sam I'm busy until lunch cuz I'm meeting a guy."

"What's he like?" Sam asked with a mischievous smile.

'Nasty' "Umm… well, I don't know him too well yet."

Sam's smile dropped. "Maybe it's not a good idea to meet then."

"I'll be fine."

"I know you'll be fine physically, you can martial art anyone to hell. But you could have your feelings hurt."

Martha awkwardly scuffed the sidewalk with her shoes wondering what to say. Sam might follow if he thinks it could be dangerous and see Wario where they could lie again unless Wario decided to randomly change his mind again. Or she cancelled that plan and Sam would either go on his merry way or stay around. "You know I think I'll get to know him better first." Martha smiled shyly. Awkward silence spread but Sam didn't turned away instead smiling himself, "Want to grab some ice cream?" Martha face palmed on the inside; that's exactly what she suggested to Wario!

"Actually I'm not feeling well."

Sam raised an eyebrow; to him Martha looked perfectly fine. Uneasy but perfectly healthy. "Here, I'll drive you home."

"I'll drive on my own."

"You really shouldn't drive when you're not feeling well."

'We drive when we get drunk and are out of our minds all the time!' Martha didn't know what to say anymore to shake the blonde off. That's when Wario involuntarily took matters into his own hands, farting agonizingly loudly and the pressure rose in the trash can within split seconds catapulting off the lid and shooting it at Sam's head with enough force to knock him out lifting him off his feet as he fell backwards.

"Phew, got a little stuffy in there. Heh, looks like I got us out of a situation with boob less Samus just in time." Wario commented popping out of the trash can, Martha frantically crawling away with a hand over nose desperately trying to wave the smell away while poor Samus inhaled lung full's that would later cause agony when he awoke.

"Oh crap, you could've killed Sam! Check if he's alive!" Martha yelled from further away, the fart wafting out causing more people to scurry away with Martha.

"He's breathing, relax. Are we still going for ice cream?"

"We can't just leave Sam here!"

"Stuff him in the trunk?"

"No!"

"Throw him into a dumpster?"

"No!"

"I'm out of ideas…"

"…"

"…"

"You stink… on every level…"

"You got an idea? And come closer, I'm tired of yelling."

"Over my dead body! Just put him on the nearest bench."

"How are we going to eat ice cream when you're so far away and we have to keep yelling?" Wario yelled carrying Sam to the nearest bench and dropping him roughly.

"We walk there very slowly until my nose is safe to be near you." After an awkward slow walk they arrived although yelled for the man to wait a few more minutes a few meters away to make sure the ice cream wouldn't get contaminated.

Wario ordered a humongous amount barely staying on the cone of various kinds while Martha picked vanilla and strawberry. They almost sat down on a bench by the fountain but their eyes strayed to Sam. He didn't look like he'd wake up anytime soon but just to be safe they settle out of sight in case he did wake up sitting down in the shade of a tree.

"Is he into you?"

"Who?" Martha blinked.

"Blondie I knocked out."

"I don't know…" Martha stuttered. "Sam usually hangs out with us. When I came here, he was still kinda withdrawn but he used to be way more withdrawn from what I've been told. We're friends, nothing more."

"So… do you like him?"

"I doubt you even care, why are you asking?"

"Just curious."

"… He's not ugly." Martha shrugged. They finished their ice cream in pleasant silence, Wario wolfing down the dairy product glancing at Martha taking her time. Their heads poked around the corner seeing Sam still out cold and on the bench.

"We just have to stay out of sight."

"Yeah but we don't know where Sam would go."

"There is nothing to do in the forest."

"There is, you just don't see it."

"Well, I guess there is taming Rayquaza."

"Yeah, wait- what!?"

"You know I'm curious if Rayquaza would let itself be tamed by you."

"That's crazy!"

"We should do it."

"No, I'm not trying to tame Rayquaza."

"Chicken."

"I'm not scared just being sensible."

"Chicken."

"Shut up. We used up some time in the arcade but it's still two hours till lunch."

"How far away is the next city?"

"Half an hour."

"That'd leave only an hour to do something. How about over there? It's close to the car if we need to bolt."

"You like bowling?"

"I don't think I've ever played."

"Okay, let's go." Wario didn't actually didn't turn out so bad at bowling getting better the more he played. Their peaceful enjoyment got interrupted when Martha's phone rang, the caller Rita. Martha stared at the screen, music in the background of the bowling alley, the interior darkened and illuminated with neon lights. The girl chewed her lip, her finger hovering over the touch screen deciding to ignore the call looking up to see Wario mow down all pins in the first roll cheering.

'Why did she do that?' Rita wondered staring at her phone. Zen had declined hanging out for them working on figuring out that weird barrier that appeared in the Smash Mansion, word having spread quickly as more of them saw it. 'Maybe she's still helping out, Warioette. Would explain why she's avoiding everyone.' Rita sighed sending a text instead. –Still helping Warioette?-

"Give up, Rita." Martha mumbled having finished her turn. She quickly read the test replying with a yes.

"Your sister?" Wario asked, the bowling ball leaving his hands.

"Yeah." The two finished their game, Wario losing only by ten points. The pair carefully checked for Sam before sneaking into the next entertainment venue not running into Sam until lunch both sitting down in the car, the poor blonde slowly waking after 20 minutes after they left town rubbing his pounding head. Around him, grass had wilted leaving him to wonder why remembering talking to Martha, a loud rumble and everything going black.

The blue haired teen stopped out of sight dropping off Wario at the edge of the forest before coming into view of the Smash Mansion and pulling into the garage with her car. "The teen squad has been roping me into searching high and low for you all day. Not that I mind but I didn't even get to drink a beer and watch the weekly episode of the one show I care to follow." Dalia spoke up leaning in the doorway to the garage, Martha locking the car and turning to the older female.

"Sorry about that. I got side tracked."

"It's fine." Dalia shrugged, the two heading for lunch where everyone wondered how Peach had dealt with the absurd garden crisis the news having spread to every smasher already. A few minutes later they started eating, Sam walked to the table plopping down on a chair with a headache and a brightly colored bump on his forehead making Martha shrink in her seat a little while everyone else stared at Sam's head.

Diana C. Falcon broke the ice, "Sam, what happened to your head?"

"I'm not sure. I remember being in town talking to Martha and then this loud rumble noise came out of nowhere and everything went black." Sam replied. All eyes shifted to Martha for more details, chuckling awkwardly.

"Kids… Kids were playing baseball and pegged you with the ball. Really hard. That rumbling noise was a vehicle." Martha answered.

"Didn't feel like a baseball…"

"But it was a baseball. Kids asked me to apologize for them by the way." Martha added stuffing food in her mouth still feeling eyes on her before they finally peeled away, Sam giving a shrug. The meal proceeded peacefully with the usual banter exchanged and no more questions. Martha finished her food early and left the table so quickly it could be seen as fleeing and once out of sight the girl did start to run dashing to her room grabbing some the promised items jumping a little as she turned around, backpack slung over her shoulder suddenly face to face with Rita. "Rita, why do you have to sneak up on me?"

"What really happened in town? Does it have to with Warioette? I keep it a secret, I promise!" Rita whispered.

Martha sighed eyeing for a second first. She kept the other secret until now. "Sam came to us and Warioette didn't want to be seen so she hid in a trash can. But she had to fart in the trash can which blew off the lid and the lid hit Sam in the head." Rita burst out laughing with tears in her eyes while Martha face palmed with a smile.

"Well… I'm not the only one who knows about Warioette…" Rita mentioned and Martha groaned having forgot about Olivia and Mistress Hand. "Olivia and Mistress Hand know and Elaine but I told them that Warioette didn't want everyone to know yet."

"Thanks."

"But when they asked why, I didn't know what to say so I said the first thing that came to mind which was that she's planning a surprise party which is why it had to be a secret." Rita sighed.

"…"

"Sorry."

"It's okay at least only four know and they are keeping it a secret. I gotta go, I'll be right back."

"Bringing that to Warioette?"

"Yeah." Rita tilted her head not quite why all the fuss but offered a distraction anyway. "Just down burn anything down." The red head grinned at the thought of fire having become quite fond of the hot flames over time along with potatoes. With Rita pulling off a not too suspicious distraction but enough to catch everyone's attention for a minute, Martha easily sprinted to the forest finding Wario napping under a tree. " "Hey, wake up." Wario rubbed his eyes looking at the back and Martha carefully taking out the contents while talking. "Refrain from picking your nose and be careful with the laptop. If you run out of battery here are two more. I don't know what kind of movies you like so I just grabbed a random bunch. And here is lunch."

"I saw blondie come in when spying from my hiding spot. Does he remember what happened?"

"Sort of. Not quite the fart, he just got to the rumbling noise before the lid hit him. I told him that kids playing baseball pegged him. And we have a problem."

"I will never be able to return?" Wario asked.

"No. Olivia, Elaine and Mistress Hand saw you so to keep her promise, Rita said you didn't want to others to know you're here-"

"I don't see the problem."

"-because you're planning a surprise party."

"Oh."

 **These chapters are so short… Anyway, I hope you like it. Sorry for long waits but I'm more focused on my fantasy books now both are close to a finish and in the one I actually already have the last few events down on loose leaf in point form. I have also been thinking of making a 'Peach on …' series, next one maybe being 'Peach on Weed'XD I also started a prison fic like I don't already have enough planned. Sorry again for late updates, I have also been playing Garry's Mod, Nick and me are building out we want to use for a YouTube thing. Anyway, I'll get the next chapter to you as fast as I can, possibly this weekend as nothing is planned outside the usual:D**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Hey, do you want to come along for shopping?" Martha poked her head into the tree house currently empty save for Wario watching something online with a beer bottle next to him. Two days passed peacefully without any notable incidents and Martha's usual presence returning washed away suspicions. Wario made less of a fuss but of course the peace couldn't last and the fact that Wario started to get bored cooped up and having watched countless shows showed. At the moment he still stuck with the decision to stay hidden but that flip flopped in seconds and the short man did secretly enjoy getting on the princess' nerves leading to the main reason Wario started to be a pain in the butt again; He missed hanging with Martha even though their exchanges were heavily laced with sarcasm and stabs at each other with few sweet moments such as the pet shop moment two days ago.

"Sure, I'm kinda bored. Does girl Hand send you in pairs off to?" Wario asked. "Oh wait, that only lasted for a while…"

"Mistress Hand does pair us up so the workload is shared. Peach does all the cooking and baking and we buy stuff for it aside from a few other things. I'm usually with Elaine but I told her she can stay home, I will take care of it. Thought you might want to get out a bit."

"Hey does boob less Samus remember more?"

"His name is Sam." Martha growled as they exited the tree houses walking closer to the mansion.

"Fine, your boyfriend still buy the baseball story?" Wario huffed.

"He's not my boyfriend!" Martha exclaimed.

"Good. Hey can we pick up popcorn?"

"What?" Martha stuttered while sighing starting to get confused giving up on why Wario responded with 'good' focusing on answering his popcorn question. "Sure." The girl left bringing the car to the driveway and Wario climbed in, the duo heading off to the supermarket in town. Wario raised an eyebrow at Martha after entering as the girl ripped the list into two pieces. "Alright, here you go."

"Nah, I'm fine."

"Ice cream afterwards, my treat." Martha sighed holding out one to Wario glancing at her and slowly extending his fingers to take it. Martha yanked back just before he could grab it holding the piece of paper out of reach. "Don't conveniently lose it." Martha lowered the paper again and Wario grabbed it along with a shopping cart pondering if he wanted to come out of hiding pretending to be Warioette practicing disguise skills or stay hidden. He thought it never possible but chugging beer, lying on the couch like strip along one of the four walls of the tree house and watching shows and movies or playing videogames got a tad boring. Not much but enough to bother the portly man. His eyes widened and he quickly darted into an ally peeking out from behind the corner at Ganondorf but with boobs. And curves. And longer hair. Right now the gender bent smasher threatened an employee about something, the poor young person stuttering in fear. Wasn't it Martha's and Elaine's turn? What was female Ganondorf doing here? Wario pulled back again going back to fetching all items on the list and keeping an eye out for the other smasher.

'Wonder if Wario is actually doing his share.' Martha wondered grabbing two pineapples.

"What are you reading?" Zen tilted his head to Sam looking over his shoulder.

"Looking at spells and portals. Martha found some sort of barrier in the Mansion and asked for my help."

"Oh that's the weird spot everyone is talking about, right?"

"Yeah, I haven't found anything yet. How is your head?"

"Much better, still a little red though with a bit of a bump."

"That's one hard baseball hit you got there." Zen chuckled.

Sam sighed before talking again. "I'm not really convinced it was a baseball. I remember hearing noise before I got hit and it did not sound anything baseball related."

"Why would Martha lie about what you got hit in the head with though?"

"I don't know." Sam shrugged.

"I'm done." Wario handed back the list to Martha reaching for something on a higher shelf causing Wario to have a certain angled view as she stretched her body, the skirt shifting slightly. Wario tried to look away but couldn't help himself staring and tilting his head just in the slightest, once in a while still wondering if this was an elaborate prank instead of being in another dimension or world. Except it felt and looked far too real for the prank option even if the smashers used their utmost skill, the skirt being prove as Marth would never wear one not even for a huge prank as he'd never live it down. Martha grabbed the can and her head tilted towards Wario staring and her eyes narrowed dangerously clearing her throat with a growl. Wario didn't react, swallowing when the girl put the can in the cart and turned to him. Her fist curled and smashed into Wario's head.

"Pervert."

"Sorry." 'Worth it.' Wario rubbed his sore head, Martha crossing off the last item at the bottom of the list. The duo proceeded to the cash registers but got stopped by a group of guys starting to flirt with Martha. Wario already felt sorry for them.

"Let's help you get this in the car and hang out, hm?" One guy purred another asking for her phone number.

"Nope." Martha replied brushing past them without another word. The guy's hand quickly followed right onto Martha's butt, his friends chuckling at his antics. Wario backed up a little waiting for the carnage to unfold. His eyes widened as Martha spin kicked the guy from right there knocking him out and continued to beat the crap out of them without covering them in visible wounds using more martial art techniques in one go than Wario had ever seen. So that's what Sam was talking about. As quickly and swiftly as it broke out, Martha finished them continuing to the cash registers, Wario following silently. Fellow shoppers and employees didn't react like customers Kung-Fuing the crap out of other customers is the norm. It probably is for this town.

"Hey wanna tame Rayquaza?"

Martha blinked at him as they loaded the groceries in the car. Didn't they already discuss this ending with a definite no? The girl sighed, "No"

"But your other- I mean but where I came from you dopp- hold on… umm… you would look cool with it." Martha replied to Wario silently with a look putting the last bag in the trunk.

"Maybe but Rayquaza is dangerous. I don't see any point in this. What would I even do with Rayquaza?"

"I don't know. Look cooler?" Wario shrugged sitting down the passenger seat. Martha did have a point but the idea remained. The car drive passed rather silently, Wario's thoughts straying back to Rayquaza with the idea of profit. Back home Master Hand and about everyone would be furious and a missing Rayquaza would stand out. Eventually it would all lead to him and he'd get in trouble but here he wouldn't be coming back. The round man didn't dare go up against Rayquaza on his own but with a little help the beast could be caught and Wario already planned out exactly how he'd snatch it and take it with him selling it later. For a moment his conscious reprimanded him pointing out how wrong it would be and how mean it'd be to Martha as she probably wouldn't agree to that but greed quickly took over again.

Wario sighed slowly closing the door with utmost concentration. He had tried yesterday nagging Martha about Rayquaza again when she stopped by before going to bed but without success. The wood gave the faintest creak upon closing and the portly man turned around eyes gazing over the room. Wario curiously leafed through the belongings seeing if anything sparked his interest. The hands shortly stopped at a drawer beside a closet by one of the two beds in the room. The hand reached out again with a mischievous smile but froze again as a familiar voice cut through the room.

"Open it and it'll be the last thing you do."

Wario jumped around to Martha leaning against the wall beside the door with her arms crossed and eyes holding a silent threat. Now he really wanted to be certain to have found the panty drawer. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Since you came in."

"Geez, you're like a ninja…" Wario grumbled sniffing around in the room again and Martha pushed off the wall pulling open a drawer at a desk taking slips of paper. Wario waddled over in interest snatching one and looking it over. "What is this?"

"Tickets to a rock concert for tonight." Martha answered carefully snatching it back. "I'm putting them in the car to make sure I won't forget any."

"Sweet when are we leaving?"

"Why do you always assume to be included?" Martha raised an eyebrow tucking the tickets in her hoodie pouch for now.

"I'm bored; I can't keep staying in the forest."

"Then come out, nobody will kill you."

"Nah, I don't want to reveal myself. I'll keep posing as Warioette if I get seen. Who is going to the concert?"

"Dalia, Elaine, Rita, Linkle, Sam, Zen, Jan, Sheik, Pia and me."

"Ten people and twelve tickets, leaves two extra." Wario pointed out with a smile.

Marth sighed kicking herself mentally. Should've seen that coming. "Fine, you're riding with me and you're taking a shower before we go."

"Hmm… I just had a great idea. I'll go as your grandma."

"Hey Martha, are we still going early for a closer parking spot?" Rita crashed in texting someone on her phone and blinked upon lifting her head. "Grandma? What's going on?"

Martha shot Wario a look before pulling Rita closer and lowering her voice. "I have to tell you something, I need to vent before he drives me crazy."

"HE?"

"This isn't Warioette, his name is Wario and he came through some sort of portal through a wall in the mansion."

"The weird spot everyone knows about?"

"Yes, he thought I was someone else that's why I know. He can't make up his mind with coming out or not and till now he's been hiding out by the tree house or pretending to be a sick Warioette in disguise. Please keep it a secret until he decides to make himself known here."

"S-sure, just… I have lot of questions now."

"How about I answer them later?"

"Okay but I have one burning question."

"Shoot."

"Why did he say he'll be your grandma?"

"I don't know, _why did you Wario?_ "

"For the concert princess, I'm tired of pretending to be sick so I'll go as your grandma. Do ya have mangoes or something? Or do you think that's too big?"

"T-that makes y-you my grandma too!" Rita exclaimed.

"Two granddaughters, I'm such a lucky grandma! Pretty good, huh?"

Rita just blinked and Martha face palmed, Wario blowing a kiss. The man turned around and rummaged through more drawers quickly retracting from the panty drawer upon being spotted finding nothing to help in his endeavor leaving the teenage girls to wonder what he exactly looked for.

"Your clothing is all too big and thin that leaves two options, I borrow from Warioette or we buy clothing. I could also use a wig; maybe go with braided pigtails slightly grayish in color? Or a faded blonde, don't want to look 90 or something." Rita turned to Martha staring at her for all the answers and the girl sighed ruffling her hair spinning to the door.

"I'll be right back from Warioette's room…"

"Where would we find a wig…"

"Why am I part of this?" Rita questioned.

"Or _who_ would have a wig?"

"No one here wears wigs…"

"Then we have to go to town."

"The concert starts soon."

"Are you delaying on purpose?"

"Possibly. This is a lot to take in."

"I got clothes; don't ever ask for it again." Martha snuck back in having found a dress Warioette never seemed to have worn but then again, she never looked at what the other female was wearing anyway. More dirty laundry had been lying around than clean making navigating rather a treacherous task. Martha left again to buy a wig wondering why she bothered to spend her earned money on this ridiculous scheme while Rita told Wario when to hide as Elaine wandered in during other girl's absence enthusiastically asking Rita if she's ready for tonight.

"Yeah, can't wait. The tickets are in Martha's car."

"I'm gonna take a shower before we go that brawl dragged out. Hey speaking of Martha, where is she? She has a brawl before we're going and I know she wanted to shower afterwards."

"Just quickly getting something." Rita answered swerving in Elaine's way turning to the bathroom untying the ponytail.

"Ummm Rita…"

"Yeah?"

"You're in the way."

"Am I?"

"What's going on?"

"Nothing." Rita's expression stayed frozen while Elaine obviously didn't buy it. Without warning, the bulkier girl pushed Rita side and opened the bathroom door with poor Rita holding her breath behind her. Relief washed over seeing Wario nowhere and the window open, Elaine glancing back at her with a questioning look and Rita shrugged awkwardly wondering where Wario had gone to. The red head opened another window of the room and poked her head out finding Wario hanging onto a ledge grinding his teeth a little trying to move without success. Rita turned back to the room in search of a tool to help Wario finding Linkle's claw shot the blonde forgot in here the other day. Rita moved back to the window glancing over the device before attempting to aim and firing it almost taking off Wario's head. Rita silently mouthed sorry with a shrug, the claw hooking onto the ledge. Wario glared shortly but Rita had already backed up glancing around to find a spot to attached the other end resorting to wrapping as much chain as she could around a bed leg before showing giving the okay with her thumb to Wario and rushing back to hold onto the other end for more support. Wario eyed the chain questioning the integrity of this plan and painfully slowly managed to latch onto the chain with his back now facing the soil below. The man wiggled and pulled with all his might inching forward as fast as a snail coming to a dead end when his head touched onto the window frame with the chain barely hovering above it. Wario waited in sweat as Rita waited for him to get in glancing at her fingernails. After a few minutes, the water stopped in the bathroom and Rita let go for a moment catching it again as the chain started running away and Wario almost freaked out hugging the chain tighter as much as he could. With time running out, Rita dashed forward motioning for Wario backtrack and hold onto the ledge again. The man cussed on the inside painstakingly managing to make his way back somehow and almost fall clinging to the ledge. Rita with much fuss, got the claw to unhook almost slicing over his finger and almost injuring her self dropping it just as Elaine left the bathroom with a with a fresh change of clothes consisting of skinny jeans, T-shirt, sneakers and headband wrapped around her wrist and towel on her head drying her hair. The indigo haired girl just kind of stared at Rita sauntering over to the window with a smile closing it and staring back awkwardly. "Linkle forgot her claw shot."

"Okay."

Rita walked into the bathroom closing the door behind her and opened the window. Wario pulled himself up and rolled in suppressing a much pressing gasp. The man and girl remained silent, Rita simply staying in the bathroom and locking the door hoping that Martha would be back soon.

"Hey Rita, I'm going to see where everyone else is."

"Okay Elaine." Rita sighed in relief flushing the toilet to make it seem like she actually needed the bathroom and let water run in the sink until she heard the door shut. The red head unlocked the bathroom and bounded out throwing the dress for Wario hidden under Martha's blanket at the man. "Martha needs the shower later too so use it now, I'll stall as much as I can so no one goes inside. And hurry up, if you're showered we can hide you in Martha's closet, I'll already squish everything to one side." Wario nodded and turned back into the bathroom while Rita dismantled the order in Martha's closet stepping back with a smile and the mayhem done and closing the wardrobe again.

Martha headed straight for her room entering just as Wario twirled around in the dress with his hair almost dry from the shower, the girl having gone way past the speed limit to cut down on time. The teen wordlessly tossed her adoptive sister the platinum blonde wig with braided pigtails, quickly changing in the bathroom into her brawl attire and rushing off to her match. Rita tossed the wig to Wario who promptly tried it on inspecting his disguise in the mirror on the wall.

"Martha-" Dalia blinked at Wario currently puckering his lips and turned to Rita silently. Luckily Dalia didn't see Wario jiggle his acquired fake boobs held in place by a bra unlike Rita. But before the redhead could talk, Wario butted in with a surprisingly well pitched voice with a deeper undertone.

"Dear, are you looking for my granddaughter?"

Dalia gazed down slowly pulling out a cigarette and taking a deep breath before calmly structuring a single worded question. "Granddaughter?"

"Uh, yes. Dalia this is Martha's grandma and by extension my grandma. Grandma, this is Dalia."

He wasn't sure why but he wanted to laugh so badly faced with a girl version of Snake especially as Dalia looked far more feminine than he had first thought especially in the current attire consisting of shorts, boots and crop top with the longer brown hair adorned with a headband. For some reason he had expected a copy of Snake with boobs slapped on. The man kept it in instead keeping the grandma act rather well. Wario noted to himself that Dalia leaned on the hairy side which helped him to not stick out too much with his own 'fur'. "I'll be coming along to the concert but don't mind me dear you kids have fun."

"Hey Dalia, everybody ready?" Martha rushed in slightly sweaty and immediately grabbed an outfit out of the closet disappearing in the bathroom in flash.

"Wow sweetie that was a quick brawl." Wario remarked happily.

"Had to make up for lost time!" Martha yelled, the water starting to pour in the shower.

"Are we taking Elaine's car or your jeep?" Rita inquired.

"My jeep." Dalia answered. "Martha, are you taking the leather jacket?"

"Yeah, throw it my car please! Thanks!"

"No problem! We're going to the cars!"

"I'll wait for Martha." Grandma Wario informed Rita and Dalia heading to the garage and going over everything again to make sure nothing got forgotten. After a few minutes Martha bounded out of the bathroom in a blue layered skirt stopping at the knees, black short leggings, black boots and a black eevee shirt with a pouch and hood placing the tiara on top of her head. The pouch held wallet and phone and the key chain spun around her finger, the teen asked Wario if he got everything. Wario nodded, the two making their way to the cars where everyone else waited Martha being immediately asked who Wario was. The blue haired girl answered shortly with grandma everyone looking like they got punched with a with a million questions in the face as they watched Wario waddle after the girl promptly claiming passenger seat in the midst of surprise. The group split up into the two vehicles and the ride passed rather silently, Wario deciding rather to listen to the enthusiastic teens than talking himself although he did answer why no one has ever seen him visiting with an excuse of traveling a lot although that resulted in the teens wanting to hear about places Martha's grandma had seen. The portly man managed to stop the waterfall by saying 'she' had gotten stuck in Mushroom Kingdom for a while and remained there for quite a while in that world. Either the teens didn't question it or they were too excited about the concert to further inquire but the topic quickly changed back to tonight's event.

Ten vehicles sat in the parking lot before them, the group having planned well ahead entering the premise upon showing the tickets. Since they were early not much happened yet, the stage still partially being set up and few people lingering around. A merchandise booth sported a bored employee who would soon cherish the peace when experiencing the rush. The concert itself played inside an indoor hall with bathroom to one side tucked away a little out of the heaviest traffic area. What surprised Wario was that none of them went for autographs even though this would be the perfect chance, the teens solely having come to enjoy the music in the setting. The ceiling featured colored lights, the regular lights on at the moment as a few more early birds filtered in before the crowds would hit, the group just kind of standing around conversing with each other. Wario glanced around noticing a lot of the incoming people being teenagers, a group of guys around the same age particularly catching his eyes as they glanced at them again and again especially at the girls.

"Hey Dalia, wanna get some drinks? There is a stand in the back selling pop." Elaine asked.

"Yeah sure."

"This awesome!" Sam cheered, Sheik equally hyped with an arm around his shoulder as the music boomed around them.

"We'll come along." Martha joined with Linkle. Pia quickly asked what everyone wanted but stayed at the front with the others.

The can gave a fizz and pope as the leaned against the back wall, Dalia taking sip right there as their eyes shifted to a group of guys coming over to them.

"Hey there, enjoying the concert?" They had to yell even in the back for each other to make out what the other said.

"Yeah, it's great!" Martha replied for everyone.

"Want to know what would make it more awesome?"

"Are you going to hit on us?" Dalia raised an eyebrow taking another sip.

"Well, guess you figured us out. How about it? Got a little time after the concert."

"Not really, we're going to leave right after the concert." Linkle shouted to make sure she was heard.

"Aw, come on. We promise we'll make it worth your time."

"No thanks." Elaine joined as they set out, with cans in their hands, a hand shooting out catching Martha's wrist, the girl barely holding a slipping can and the other girls turned around with growing frowns.

"Not even going to give us a chance?"

"No and if you don't let go I'll give you a broken bone to feel for months." Martha snarled, eyes narrowing on both sides.

"Why don't you get to know my toy?" Dalia suggested flashing a gun just long enough for the guys to glimpse, quickly letting go and taking a step back and the other girls silently gave threats with dark glares.

"Jerks like that ruin a concert…" Linkle grumbled.

"Well but only if you let them, we got each other's back though!" Pia smiled. The music surrounded them as they went back up to the front, Rita and Pia starting to move to the tune elbowing their friends a few times.

"Hey, thanks for taking me along." Wario said as the two stood a bit away with Rita and Pia really starting to feel comfortable rocking out in front of the stage with Linkle slowly joining, Sam and Jan fully in it and Rita and Pia trying to pull Elaine into it comically reaching out for Martha with a pouty face silently asking for assistance.

"You kind of forced your way in. But you're welcome."

"I feel like we're warming up to each other."

"Nope."

"No need to be shy about it, my charm can be overwhelming."

"Hey Martha, I'm not certain but I'm pretty sure that weird spot is a portal. Or used to be portal. Haven't figured out the details but I think it's some sort of portal." Zen walked up to them, stopping next to Martha having escaped the dancing beckoning bunch for now.

"So… think something came through it?"

"Maybe, I'll have to look further into it but if anything did come though I hope it's not anything bad."

'Too late.' "Gotta go to the washroom , can you watch my drink?"

"Sure"

"Thanks."

As Martha returned from the bathroom heading back to the group, the hand quickly slid out at the butt as the guy shoved her a little against the wall, the loud music and dense mass of people in the hall giving away nothing. Poor Rita who had come beside her out of nowhere got double squished, the other guys in the group chuckling.

Wario sighed internally, having left the group a little as the girls proved a little much curious about Martha's grandma remarking the oddness as they were completely different. The man's eyes narrowed a he saw Martha shove with Rita being squished and the very same group having eyed the group of girls before behind it. 

"Squished…" Rita gasped, her eyes narrowing as one dude leaned against the wall as his hand snaked towards her face the girl already seeing herself bite. With the others blocking the view via crowding around unaware of Wario heading to them, the one to have shoved got bolder inching even closer and the other arm moving into motion while the other was more around the waist now.

"Sooo… you and your friends, you got some nice looks yo-"

"Thanks but I think red would look great on you." Martha replied coolly, hand by the guy's shirt as the clothing hid something quite sharp. The group backed off quickly and Martha tugged along Rita back toward the stage where almost the entire group danced.

Wario's eyes narrowed, the disguised man quickly slipping in the male bathroom as the concert came to an end, the band saying a few last words. With a quick glance confirming that only the group of guys was inside, Wario turned to the mirror adjusting his wig before letting it rip whole heartedly in there, the mouthiest of the guys coming out of the stall and to the sink blasting him into another stall. The man waddled out, door shut behind him hiding the gassy, vivid hazard inside, the man quickly covering up the remnants of himself with some perfume he quickly snatched out of a purse and slipped it back it. Heads slowly turned to the commotion as Martha and co were already leaving, Wario quickly joining them and gently but steadily keeping them going causing them to miss the sight of the guys tumbling out of the bathroom gasping and choking for air with their hair disarray and their hands on the floor as they crawled away from the smoking bathroom area.

Back at the mansion, Martha poked her head into the tree house checking in on Wario back in the clothing he arrived in. "I think I'm gonna move in the mansion."

"No way!"

"Why not?"

"Actually, I don't know! It doesn't matter actually, just let me know when you make up your mind about your identity so I don't look like an idiot. Good night. By the way, if you want me to, I can throw your clothes in the wash for you tomorrow."

"That'd be great, thanks. Good night, flatty boobs."

"I'll rip out your mouth!"

"Alright, alright. Good night, Martha." Wario corrected with chuckle, Martha fixing him with an un-amused glare and her lips in a straight line the man glancing at her still chuckling. "What? I can't help it, just back there you're- I mean he is… the joke-" Martha huffed, closing the door as Wario had to chuckle again.

Sam blinked at the ceiling, turning in his bed pondering over his bump on the head yet again as the remark wouldn't go out of his head. 'Martha wouldn't lie to me… Martha isn't one to lie in general especially to friends… There is no reason to lie…'

"Are you freaking kidding me!?" Wario couldn't say it was the worst awakening to have Martha hovering over and choking him awake with a hot angry glare on her face, her legs on either side of him with the girl clad in dark blue hoodie, skinny black jeans and black sneakers. By the wall was pile of fresh clothes with the girl having eyeballed the size the man would need hoping it would fit.

"Wow, been what, about a week now and you're all over me?" The man smirked, Martha's eyes narrowing dangerously.

"And what do you mean with that?" The girl snarled but her eyes widened as Wario's hand shamelessly reached for the butt but didn't reach and her fist in his jaw promptly discouraged any further attempt as she leapt off.

"You're crabby in the morning you know that?"

"Pervert! You have zero manners!"

"At my job in the fancy restaurant I do."

"Yeah right, like any fancy restaurant would hire you. W-what are you doing?"

"You said yesterday you'd wash my clothes."

"Let me get out first!" Martha exclaimed leaping to the door, stopping without turning around as her hand clasped the handle. "I know what you did at the concert yesterday, I had to go back because I forgot something." The girl left waiting under the tree with her arms crossed next to a backpack and stick she placed there beforehand. Hey eyes strayed in the direction of the lake which Rayquaza had moved in and resided, the girl pushing off the tree and finding herself in front of the water in no time.

"Hey Martha, where am I putting this? Martha?" Wario stuck his head out the little window of the tree house to the basket but no Martha in sight. "Where did she go? Guess it goes in the basket…" His hands moved to toss it out but retracted as Sam came into view stopping by the ladder, eyes moving to the laundry basket while Wario stepped back out of sight.

'Huh, why is a basket here…' His eyes glanced to the tree house then back to the basket before turning to the ladder with a shrug but his hand froze before he even lifted a foot as Martha suddenly charged out of nowhere and due to looking over her shoulder bowled him over.

"Run!"

"Martha, w-what's going!?"

"Stupid, stupid me! No, stupid Wario that ass!"

"Wario, what?" Sam blinked at the frantic girl, lost at what was going on although a shadow and deep growl from a pissed off Rayquaza quickly removed the need for any clarification.

"Run!" Martha repeated, both almost tripping over each other's legs as they got up.

"What's going on!?"

"I just wanted to try to befriend it!" Martha exclaimed, both ducking and diving forward as Rayquaza's tail rushed out snapping the tree with the tree house in it. Martha whipped around, her eyes widening leaving Sam further confused reaching for her sleeve only to fail, face planting forward as the girl took off. Rayquaza twisted and snapped after her, Marth using the Pokémon's tail to push her further twisting out of the way as she leapt off to the wreckage crashing down grabbing onto cloth with smile. The other half of a wonderfully perfectly executed rescue arc did not go so well as she had managed to grab the man but found herself dragged down as he was heavier causing a rather rough landing. Sam blinked at the reveal of the dust settling, finding himself confused again and it didn't help that Wario and Martha went at each other's throats as Rayquaza inched closer.

"This your fault!"

"Whoa, you're hot when you yell at me but have a reason to first princess! Besides, I didn't need your help to survive that!"

"I should've just left you, you jerk! And don't call me hot!"

"Fine angry cutie pie!"

"Don't call me cute!"

"Fine, flatty boobs! By the way, Rayquaza is right behind you and as much as I like you having landed on me I don't wanna die with you!"

"You are an asshole!" Martha roared, Rayquaza' breath in her neck, its skin just centimeters away.

 **I'll leave it here, see ya next chapter!**


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